My mom has lived with me for one year, one month, and two weeks. Her health for the first six months was relatively stable. She was hospitalized once during that time when she had a bad cold, but she rallied. We even sent the wheelchair that was delivered here along with my mom back to the medical supplier.

But after about six months, Mom's health started a slow decline. First there were seizures. She's never really been the same since then. She came home from the hospital barely able to write. She quit going to the regular Senior Center and started attending the Adult Day Health program twice a week - when she was able. Now it's pretty much a hit and miss proposition. If she's up to it she goes, but more often than not, I end up calling and telling them, "Not today, she's not up to it."

In December we both got bronchitis. Actually, I got it first. I spent the better part of Christmas Day in bed giving Mom the run of the house. Her bronchitis was really bad. She has emphysema, or Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, so it did a number on her. I kept calling the hospital, calling the doctor...she was struggling to breathe. Her doctor prescribed a nebulizer for her which helped some. But one morning she couldn't walk. I called the hospital and they sent out a non-emergency ambulance. After giving Mom an IV of fluids, she was much better and able to walk. But I was exhausted. They were going to send her home with me. I talked to the hospital social worker, and she called some live-in home care agencies. It was pretty much a race - whichever agency called back and was able to provide someone at our house by 3 p.m. was getting the job.

At 3 p.m. that afternoon, Karmen sauntered through the door. Karmen pretty much always saunters. Once in awhile she's in a hurry, but usually she has a relaxed gait. Karmen quickly became our lifeline; my mom's because she can read my mom's health and tunes in to her every need, and mine because she took over the care of my mom. The original plan was we were just going to have her here for a couple of weeks so that I could get some rest and we could get my mom over the hump with the bronchitis. But Karmen fit into our household so well and more importantly, was so good with, so respectful of, and so kind to my mom that we made the arrangement permanent. She arrives on Sunday night and goes home on Friday nights. Almost as important as the care she provides for Mom is the companionship she provides for me. I'm an only child and a single parent.

Mom spent the first week of March in the hospital. At first they didn't know what was wrong. When she came home, I found out that it was pneumonia.

With each hospitalization, she comes home a little weaker, a little more confused. Her doctors are great and in some ways support me more than they support Mom. Kaiser sometimes take some hard knocks, but since my mom has lived with me, I can't say enough good about her doctors and the care she receives. For one thing, they all talk to each other and know what is going on.

This trip Mom was much weaker. She's getting another wheelchair delivered tomorrow. Hopefully that will open up her world a bit once again. Her doctor called me today and said he has been wanting to talk to me about my mom's longevity. He said she probably just has a few months left, that it is hard to tell because she is so frail. That was pretty hard to hear. I already knew it, but hearing it from a professional somehow made it more real or something. I had a prescheduled appointment with the therapist that I see who specializes in eldercare. She said that if I can pull it off, not to go back to work at this time - spend the time with my mom. She also pointed out that Mom's needs are only going to become more intense as time goes by. I think back on what my cousin told me last summer. He is retired now (at a very young age!) but worked as a geriatric social worker for 30 years. He said "You know Lori, it's only going to get worse with your mom. It will never get better." I'm sad tonight. This weekend I'm going to talk to mom and try to tie up some loose ends and make sure she knows how much I love her and how important she is to me.